A Slightly "Less than Perfect" Transcript
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You’re listening to Gratipreneurs from timy12.sg-host.com
So last week when we were talking about you were, I’m Liz. I’m Tim Maisie. Okay, now they know who we are. So go ahead. Okay. So last week when we were talking about the differences in the way that genders in America feel gratitude, it brought up another topic, which is how people from different countries express gratitude. So I did a little looking into that. And I read in the gratitude, but you say, right, well, I said, like, one’s better than the others just different. Okay.
So, in the gratitude project, but they cited a few different studies that talked about how different countries express or learn gratitude. So what do you think Maisie Do you think people from different countries feel or express gratitude in different ways? Or is it a universal feeling where everybody feels at the same day? Most definitely, especially in different ways, because there are other parts of the world. And besides, they speak different languages.
They do have different words to mean gratitude.
Push neg? I don’t know about that. But in 2008, and 18, Jonathan tudge, and colleagues research gratitude in children from seven to 14 years old, and they looked at various countries, and they asked the kids, what is your greatest wish? And then what would you do for the person who granted you that wish? So do you think all kids would kind of say the same thing to someone who gave them who granted them their wish? No, not really. They do treat it differently. So in China and South Korea, the kids tended to favor giving gifts to whoever it was that helped them. And the kids always seem to make sure that the gifts were meaningful to the person receiving it. So something that the person might actually like, such as making a favorite snack for their brother or sister as a way of showing their gratitude seems like a pretty good thing, right.
And in the United States, the kids leaned towards giving something also to show their gratitude. But they tended to give something that they lie to themselves, rather than something that the person they were thinking might like. So for example, the child might say, Oh, I’m grateful to my parents. So I’m going to give them my favorite toy. Well, the parent might not want that toy, that might not be something that the parent wants, that’s something that the child liked. So they showed gratitude by giving something again, but they weren’t really thinking of it from the person who they were thankings perspective. Yeah, I get it. I thought that was an interesting difference. And then another difference was, the kids from Guatemala didn’t tend to give things at all, in order to show their gratitude. Instead, they were partial to verbal gratitude, just to say thank you, and to show their appreciation through words rather than giving something and the researcher said they thought that was because in the Guatemalan culture, it’s common to say, thanks to God. And so verbal thanks was common in their culture. So they thought maybe that’s why the kids had learned to show gratitude that way, rather than giving something you would think it would have to do with demographics, too. I mean, the the income and the spending habits of all these countries are very different. So in the richer nations, I mean, I think you have people that are used to buying things. And you know, when the poor nations, you know, you don’t have the means to buy things. So you know, what’s left, but to express it, you know, with words, that’s a good theory. Yeah. And actually, one other study, which looked at American and Iranian college students, they found that
if they asked, you know, these college students pretend that someone did something good for you, like held the door open for you or carried your luggage or fixed your computer or something, how would you show your things? How would you show your gratitude to them, and the American college students said that they would compliment the person and maybe promise compensation, they would promise to pay them something in the future. Whereas the Iranian students, the first thing that they looked at was whether or not the person who was helping them had a higher status or not in society than them. And that determined how they would thank them if they would apologize for the imposition. But then, in the end, they also would ask God to reward the person rather than offering to pay them something in the future. So it just kind of goes to show a bit. Whereas all people in the world can be grateful and can express gratitude. Depending on what kind of a culture you’re raised in and how you’re taught to express gratitude. You may show it in a different way.
So why do you think the American kids are taught to show gratitude by giving something rather than just saying thank you?
Um, maybe as a gift?
Why, why would giving a gift be better than just saying thank you?
And maybe to be more polite? polite, wouldn’t mean I don’t wouldn’t necessarily be better. That’s just our culture, our culture is is, you know, is buying things and where we live in a capitalistic society. So our entire culture is all about buying things. I think so I think that has a lot to do with it. And no, it isn’t necessarily better says Why do americans i guess, lend bent toward giving it that way? saying thank you that way? Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, I just think that’s what it is. I think our entire this, the culture that we live in is all about buying things. It’s about materialism. We live in a materialism culture. So how can I express you when you think about, you know, I want to thank someone or I want to
give a gift to someone or by always thinks about I want to give the best gift? Or what can you give someone who has everything, it’s always about a theme. They’re never content to get there, the giver, never feels content with, I just want to give the person a hug. Or I just want to look the person in the eye and say, You mean so much to me in my life, you were so important to me, because they don’t feel like that’s enough in our culture. But the reality is, at least for me, when I get to get that, you know, upset 1000 times people stop buying, I don’t want anything, I just want words like that are expressions like that, right? It’s interesting what we put value on. And I think it shows too, that when the kids in the United States wanted to give something to show things, they gave something that they liked. So it tends to show like, we think, well, what would I want? If someone were to thank me, maybe I should give that, you know, and then thinking about what the person might like? Well, I think just our society is self centered. You know, when you live in a capitalistic society, that’s all about individualism. So therefore, we all think about ourselves, I like this. So someone else like this naturally, I know the best gift to give anyone is a Pittsburgh Steelers, Jersey.
because those are the best things.
to you guys, you’re naturally going to be
why would you want that? Right?
We want that.
More a scruff or love or a stuffed animal or something. We know that but when, but that’s
what I was what I was kidding. My point is that I like those things. But you’ve never seen me really give that as a gift to someone else. Because that’s not I know, that’s not what they like. Well, and that’s kind of what the researchers in this book concluded also is that there are a couple of different types of cultures in the world. There are collectivist cultures where people work together. And they think about the good of the group, versus the type of culture that Americans live in which were much more of an individualistic culture. And so we tend to think about how can we be self sufficient? How can we be independent? What do we need rather than thinking about the whole group? And so here’s another study, which I thought was really interesting.
By Casey parks found, she asked her students, I think they were college students, to write letters of gratitude to people. And the Asian American students came back and told her that they wrote letters of gratitude to their parents, and their parents were insulted.
It actually made their parents feel bad to get a letter of gratitude. Because the parents felt like it was their job. Absolutely. Because the parents said, well, when you write me a letter of gratitude, it’s like, you’re implying that you didn’t expect me to be so generous and help you. And in some cultures, like in Asian cultures, and they also said Malaysian cultures felt like this, that
they the culture feels that it’s the responsibility of family members and friends to help each other. So that’s the expectation. Yeah, you should help each other that’s expected. So if you say thank you, and you know, are overly grateful. show your gratitude too much for that, then it’s almost like what you didn’t think I would help you. You didn’t expect that I would help you. Of course I would. I’m your parent. So does the research show that in our culture, like it’s a surprise if a parent does a good job? Well, that’s the thing the American parents were thrilled.
I was really worried I could pull this off. Thank goodness, I did so and so in America, we really feel good when people show us their gratitude. And the researchers thought maybe that’s because Americans don’t expect other people to just help us we expect to have to kind of go at it alone. Well, that is embedded in our culture. I mean, you know, it’s not necessarily spoken so much, but our our, again, our culture and our founding and how we got
To where we are, is about the individual, you know, and being unique. So some interesting differences in how different cultures feel and express gratitude. But I think the one thing that we all can agree to agree on is that there are definitely things in life to be grateful for. Yeah, for sure. So let me Are you done with that research? I am, let me tell you an interesting story. I’ve been told you guys had just happened yesterday. And it kind of relates to this. But then again, it kind of is off topic. But I want to talk about the power of what we can do as individuals to shift how people think, What’s the story? Well, for whatever reason, you know, you know, I usually have great days, right? Every day, it’s a great day for me. But yesterday wasn’t your Sunday was one of those days where, like, I was in a hurry to do things I had some work outside to do, I had work inside to do. And it’s one of those days where I was feeling like a little bit of stress, which is unusual for me. But like, isn’t like every everything that I did some an obstacle got in the way. So you guys know I had to go here today, to run some errands, I had to go to pick up a weed eater. And I had to go to town, to Lowe’s and stuff like that. Well, along the way, okay, our first thing is a running road construction. And I got to wait for you know, 10 minutes for the pilot car to calm. And then finally I go over there. And I get to the weed eater guy. And he’s not doing my weeding, like he said he would be sitting me needed like another half hour. So then I had to go to town to Lowe’s. I said, Well, I’ll go over here and get some stuff at random more traffic and stuff. I get into loads. And it’s one of those days where when I get in, I’m walking, there’s someone in front of me walking slow, all on every aisle, and it’s an older person or whatever. And you know, I know to be grateful, I know to be compassionate, empathetic, and all that kind of stuff. But I ain’t got time for that today. I can’t get around the guy. I’ve got my car and everything. And then I get outside, I get into my micro truck, and I’m driving and there’s people in my way, I’m catching every red light. And inside, I can just feel my tension and my stress distress is escalating.
And so it’s, that’s a good too well, but no, I understand that. But it’s like, It’s one o’clock. I haven’t eaten anything, you know, because I basically, you know, keto, so I haven’t eaten anything all day long. And then I do this really weird thing that I never do. I pull into line at Taco Bell. Because it’s like I said, Alright, that’s the only thing I’ll be close to eating because I don’t eat fast food only burger a taco bell? Well, let me finish the story. You know, I’m not saying I did. But I said, You know, I gotta find something to eat or whatever. So I went online to Taco Bell, I ordered a drink. And I ordered a bean burrito or whatever type of thing. And I’m in line, and I’m waiting for people in front of me. And the lady in front of me. I can see her she’s in her car. She’s like glancing at me in her sideview mirrors, like, you know what’s up with that or whatever. They’ll finally get up there. I was like, hurry up, hurry up, I got to pay. And I go up to pay. It’s like $5.60, or whatever it said.
And the lady at the register said,
is no charge the lady in front of you paid for it for you.
And I said, watch. She goes, Yeah, she’s already paid for years. And I said, Wow. So of course, this is called a random act of kindness. Amazing. In fact, I’ve done this before mom’s done this before. We’ve done this before
Ramona Quimby book, How I know man actually paid for the Quimby’s dinner. But I haven’t done it in a long time. And you know, this was a thing years ago, where there’s a movie, basically pay it forward. And, you know, you try to do this for other people. It’s a random act of kindness. But the reason I’m sharing the story is that just brought everything down for me. I completely relaxed, I completely became grateful, I completely got back to where I’m normally at anyway, it completely slowed down. And I completely realized how everything that was agitating me and stressing me out was completely meaningless, and who was out of fuel that way. And I completely felt grateful for a stranger, I didn’t know. And I said, I have no idea who this person was. But what it really made me feel was that when I have done that in the past, for other people, it reconnected for me how great that makes me feel, and how now I’m looking forward to going through a fast food line. Again, not because I want anything, I think I’ll drive through the line just so I could pay for someone else. But the point is part of what we’re trying to do with gratitude garb is to not just inspire people to wear something that makes it reminds them of how grateful they are, but to spread gratitude. And this was a really good example of how someone through a random act of kindness, spread gratitude in a way that made the world way better. I’m telling you, I believe that we all you know, emit energy, right? And the energy I was putting out here today to the guy in front of me, you know, and to all the people in front of me, I’m on their tail was Hey, listen, he was stressed. And then from then on, when I was driving, I was way back from people. I was calm down. And I was the way I should have been as a human being
So it doesn’t really do what you’re saying. But I just, I don’t know.
Well, I think that it actually was a, I think that gratitude is a way of connecting people together. I think that one of the reasons why it’s so important is because when we show gratitude, it’s a way of connecting us to other people so that we don’t have to feel like we’re in a culture of individualism. And you know, we have to go at it alone. Because it’s, it was not a relationship that you got to see face to face with the person in front of you. But obviously, whoever, whoever paid for you got something out of it, and you got something out of it. So there is a reciprocity there, right. And this person, you know, would do something like that,
from our heart, hoping that she was making the world a better place, and the fact that she did, it worked. So I’m looking forward to opportunities to share that as well. But it’s just amazing. The point is, it’s amazing what an expression of thanks, or kindness or gratitude can do. And we use the word gratitude a lot, because I sent our name, but really what we’re talking about is kindness, making the world a kinder place. Just choose kindness, choose happiness, choose joy. You know, I hear a lot of podcasts from people who were like, you know, on the other side of the spectrum, like, you know, well, you know, the world isn’t okay. And it’s okay not to be okay. And that was not, it is not okay to not be okay, if you’re struggling, finding gratitude. If you’re struggling finding meaning in your life, you can find it now. Maybe you got to look more elemental, and look at something simpler, but it’s there. And I’m really grateful to this person yesterday, who brought me back down and basically slapped me, you know, and said, slap me with that bean burrito and said, Listen, what are you upset about? Dude? And the answer is nothing. Nothing at all. So it’s kind of nice, guys. Beautiful. Yes, it is beautiful. And I’m sure that we’ve all felt it that just someone taking the time to say thanks to you, how it completely changes your demeanor and your outlook and amaze you. How do you feel? Sometimes, you know, you get stressed out in school or whatever, or you’re frustrated, and you can’t figure something out, or you don’t want to be doing whatever work it is that we’re telling you to do or something. But how would it make you feel if we just stopped and said, you know, just thank you for being you. Just thank you for being in our lives and being a wonderful person. What do you think that does to you physically?
I think it does, like, what, what do you it kind of stops you for a minute and makes you pause? Right? Yeah, it kind of makes you go Cuckoo.
Well, I know that that always for me, if I’m stressed out like that, and someone takes the time to just say thank you or show me some appreciation. I actually feel like weight lifted off of my shoulders and I feel more relaxed. And like you said just sort of like a release. Yeah, exactly. Alright, maybe let’s have a quick business discussion for a second. So for the podcast listeners, I’m going to do one of his favorite things here. I’m going to bring up an Amazon page. And it’s going to be of this product. Maisie What’s the name of this product? What’s the name of the product? Little
buffalo surprise that the skill Little Live Pets a scruffy love? Surprise vet rescue ambulance vet set with a doctor’s bed? What do you think about that thing? I love it. Yeah, you love it. Right? So what we’re looking at here is this whole thing is about a product or trying to sell us right. And we have a picture of the product. Right? A lot of pictures. What is that? What are the pictures make you feel? Happy? Yeah. Right? And does it make you not want this thing at all? I mean, he wanted, he really wanted it look fun. And then down here where says about this item. This is the product description there. And usually they have it even on further down to write down here. The product description says the Met rescue and military is on its way to help heal your scruffs surprise pets. Right? So what I want to talk about today a little bit is about product descriptions. Because when when someone is buying something online, and that’s called e commerce, you know, E for electronic when you’re when you have an online store, like gratitude garb, or amazon.com, or whatever, they’re selling things online. And to sell things. They use product descriptions here. And so the words of the product description, need to be written in such a way that make the person want to click Add to cart and buy that thing. Right. Right. Also false add for die. Well, you gotta be careful for false advertising. That’s right. But do you think people make purchase decisions based on logic, like I really need this thing or based on emotion, I really want this thing, emotion. You know, even in business when people are making big million dollar decisions to buy something like software, hardware, things like that. A lot of times the decisions are based
On emotions, even when you’re trying to buy something super expensive, like a car that cost like $60,000 all the time. Well, most of time we’re making our decisions based on emotion. And we look for things in the product description that allow us to rationalize our decision. Now. mom and baby what do we think rationalize means?
Take a bad decision. Okay? So rationalize means well, you really want this scruff a luvs surprise, that rescue, right? Yeah, you gotta come up with a way to convince yourself that it’s a good decision. So you convince yourself and you go, Oh, well, maybe it’s made out of hard plastic. So maybe it’s very durable. So maybe it will last a long time. Right? Okay, so maybe that’s a way you can rationalize the decision. What other ways could you rationalize this decision? You could see all the different little things I go. It’s got moving parts, it opens up and there’s things inside so it’s not just like one toy. There’s like multiple toys.
Yes, you do three toys that you’re getting three toys in one. So what we’re doing is we’re rationalizing the decision. They’re trying to come up with reasons why it’s a good purchase. And besides, it looks so cool. You get to heal a pet. Right? There you go. Good job rationalizing. One thing, four pieces, including well, kinds of pieces anyway, right? So most purchase decisions we make if you even if we make a big expensive truck, a brand new truck, like I have an 18 year old truck, right? I probably need a new truck, Don I know. Okay, but why would I? Why would I convince myself that I need a new truck, a new truck would cost 60 or $70,000? Or some ridiculous number.
That one is old and broken down. A new truck would smell a lot better. widmet? Yeah. Well, I might say things like, Well, wait a minute. The new vehicles have new safety features. They have backup cameras. Mine doesn’t have that. Remember, last time you went out on the truck? And you asked me to play something on my iPhone? And I said, Well, I can’t the old truck doesn’t have Bluetooth. But the new trucks have Bluetooth and they have better sound systems and they have better navigation systems. They won’t be holes in the seats. There won’t be holes in the seat for the dog cheat on the leather. Yeah. Oh, no, not Lenny, again. But listen, if the purpose of the truck really is to safely get me from point A to point B, from here, to the weedwacker, guy, and back, do I need it? Do I need a new truck to do that? Or not?
Or can I use my existing truck, you can use your existing so therefore I’m just rationalizing the decision, right. So now the when you look at product descriptions here, and we’re looking at this product description, but it relates to gratitude garb, if we have a shirt on gratitude garb, like a shirt that says, you know, forever grateful, we have to write a product description, right? So we need to write product descriptions that are both accurate, but also help the person to rationalize buying them. So here’s two words, I want to I want to two concepts I want to teach you today. And it’s called features and benefits. So for example, a feature of mom’s hoodie that she’s wearing right here is that it’s cotton. Okay, that’s just the features made out of cotton.
But what’s the benefit of it being made out of cotton?
The benefit is that I know, I know, it’s really soft, it’s really soft and comfortable. So the benefit is when you’re writing the product description, you don’t want to put on the website 100% cotton, a lot of times, that’s what you see, what you want to put is, imagine how comfortable you will feel
but cuddled with the comfort of cotton or whatever. Something like that warm and snuggly. Right? warm and snuggly are good words if you saw on to someone like mom.
So that’s, that’s one example. Now the sample in the Lowe’s and I want to buy a drill, right? And it says the drill. It’s powerful. Okay. That’s a feature, right? It’s got a it’s an electronic drill. What’s the benefit? What do I want when I buy a drill? Nice, good bits. Okay, good. Now, so I could buy a strong bit. But what do I want when I buy a bit?
You want to drill through really thick stuff?
Like drill other metal would definitely be good. You know, one of the most famous colleges in the world is Harvard University is in Boston. And there’s a professor of health at Harvard, I think is Theodore Levitt years ago, who said no one wants to buy a quarter inch drill bit, what they want is a quarter inch hole. That’s the reason you buy a drill bit right? So I get a hole, I need a hole. How am I gonna get it? I buy the drill bit. So the difference between a feature and a benefit is the benefit is I get a hole faster. If you can give me a stronger, you know, carbide drill bit or whatever. Why do I care about that? Because your hole will be faster in the bibble last longer. Why do I care that the bit last longer, because it’s going to
Save me money because I won’t have to replace it more often. So when we’re writing our product descriptions, we’re thinking about the benefits. Now let’s now let’s go back to a shirt from gratitude guy or something like that, if we were going to do forever grateful is a shirt. Okay? It’s made out of cotton. So it’s going to be comfortable. And you’re going to, you’re going to feel better wearing it. But what’s the benefit out of that message? Well, can we think about what would what would be the benefit to the person? Now think about it this way, the person yesterday, who paid it forward and gave me a gift, right? Yeah. If she knew that she had that I received the gift and I was as happy. What’s the benefit to her? She’ll feel good, she’ll feel good. So the benefit when we’re writing the product description is not only that it’s a shirt that has a unique design. What you know, for example, our shirts, we all custom design, right? We do doodles and stuff, what’s the benefit of that you are going to be you This shirt is as individual as you are, you are an individual. This will allow you to express your individuality, because it’s a unique design, you will feel great, spreading gratitude, and you will help other people feel better. And that will make you feel better. So full circle. So when we’re writing our product descriptions, we have to use words that persuade people to buy honestly, because you talked about false advertising, right? Never want to ever do things like that. We want to convince people to buy, but we want to touch the things that they care about. Now, why do you like this scruffy love thing so much?
Make because it’s, it looks really fun. But that I already have. So I think a new thing that I haven’t seen before I would really well. Let’s just say it would help the podcast a little better. Okay, so So if I’m writing the product description for that scramble of ambulance, I want to talk about how much fun you could have with your imagination. Yeah.
And how to make it kind of like a scruff stir fry rescue and a really good thing. Okay, you can make a whole game out of it. Yeah, imaginary world. So the point with product descriptions that I want to leave you with here, since we’re talking about that, is that product descriptions, we want to appeal to the emotion. You don’t need. Let’s be honest, for a second. You didn’t need this groffle of thing, did you? But you wanted it didn’t you? Write for the the audience? She shook her head? No, no, she shaking it? Yes. Okay, so you want it? That’s the emotion of you. And you rationalize that by saying, I deserve this. I’ve earned money for this. It’s my money. I can play a lot of different things with it. That’s you rationalizing the purchase? I do need it. Yes.
How did you trick me into that?
Because Maisie it’s important understand this. This is what marketers do to us. And by the way, you’re becoming an entrepreneur, which means that you’re going to be a marketer too. So when you’re a marketer, you can become a good marketer, the kind of marketer who doesn’t trick people, the kind of marketer who helps people get what they want. You bought that scuffle with your own money, didn’t you? But now let me ask you a question. Do you feel good about your purchase? Right? I didn’t. Do you feel good about your purchase? Okay, so no one tricked you, right? They showed you the product. They gave you good pictures, a good description, you spent the money that you earned for it by reading your books, a stinkbugs. Everything right? Yeah. And mom actually did it. Yeah, I understand. But it was your money, and you feel good about it. Right? That is good marketing. That’s the kind of marketer we want to teach you to be. Or you’re honest with your product descriptions, you help people visualize what they’re going to get out of using your product. And then you help them visualize how they will be happier. In our case, with gratitude garb, people will be happier because they’re going to be spreading gratitude, and they’re going to help other people become more grateful. Make sense? Good. Make sense, man? It does. Alright, so we need to rework some of our product description. Well, we do this discussion. So we’re teaching mom to buy product descriptions. So that’s the whole point here. Alright. mazing you want to keep talking and we had enough, basically. All right, let’s close that episode up for today. Okay, see you later. Bye.